Tenders, spicy.

Tailgating Militia

2009-03-23T12:37:00.003-04:00

Apparently, the gubmint is on to our 'militia'.

"Other potential signals of militia involvement, according to the report, are possession of the Gagsden "Don't Tread on Me" flag or the widely available anti-income tax film "America: Freedom to Fascism."

We'll make sure to fly it even higher this year.

Reason 241,531 we need the FairTax

2009-02-20T10:10:00.004-05:00

Apparently Congress is really, really stupid.

So there are energy tax credits if you replace your air conditioner with certain models. These tax credits were put in place in 2006 and part of the "Bush energy bill". They were also in place in 2007, 2009, and 2010.

That's right. The tax credits expired in 2008 and the moronic democratic leadership wanted to put them back in place, but they couldn't be bothered to renew them for 2008. However, they could be bothered to reinstate them in 2009 and 2010.

Guess who bought a qualified air conditioner in 2008?

This is the problem with using the tax code for social engineering. I'm paying full price on my a/c and paying other people to put in theirs. Nevada needs to find a Republican to run against Harry Reid so he can go away like Daschle.

More Bacon Goodness

2009-01-30T06:40:00.001-05:00

Maybe we should make this next football season.

BBQ Explosion (with Bacon)

Christmas Songs

2008-12-26T11:13:00.002-05:00

I have decided there is an entire category of "Christmas" songs that I can't stand. These are songs about the weather with no mention of Christmas anywhere. Do they play these songs in Australia when it's the middle of summer? How does it make any sense at all to have songs about the weather?

The classic two examples are "Let it Snow" and "Winter Wonderland".

However, the most obnoxious Christmas song of all is "It's Cold Outside". This song (a) is annoying - make the decision, (b)has nothing to do with Christmas, (c) and is played every third song.

I think it's these songs that caused 2/3 of the nation to get walloped with snowstorms this week. Take that!

You smell SOOOOO yummy!

2008-12-19T08:03:00.002-05:00

Why on earth would you want to wake up in the morning, take a shower, then put on some cologne to make you smell like hamburgers?

It's one sure-fire way to get the neighborhood dogs to play with you.

I wish they had interviews with the customers...

2008-12-18T10:16:00.001-05:00

Man Crashes Vehicle into Waffle House; Customers Keep Eating

The scariest thing you'll see this Halloween

2008-10-23T12:51:00.002-04:00

Bacon Apple Pie

2008-10-22T16:02:00.000-04:00

Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon

http://www.aldenteblog.com/2008/10/beautiful-cinna.html

Distracted by the Popcorn

2008-10-22T12:09:00.002-04:00

I voted already. So stop mailing me postcards, Obama.

Early voting is a wonderful invention. Stop by the mall, fill out the ballot and you're done. The libertarian party is back on the ballot in NC this year. They have a few wackos running for the local races, though. This year they did *not* mark the incumbents on the ballot... I wonder if that is a trend to prevent people from voting against incumbents.

I wish more people realized that there are more choices than GOP or Democrats. Oh well. I've resigned to the fact that nothing will really change no matter who is elected.

After we left the polls we wandered around the mall and found an invention even better than early voting: The POP-N-GO popcorn machine. You put in a dollar and it makes popcorn for you, then puts butter on it if you want. You add the salt yourself to your liking, too. Now that Target has raised their price on the Popcorn&Coke meal* to $1.50, this is the best deal out there.

* It used to be a dollar. Popcorn was $.99 and the "meal" was $1.00.
Me: I'd like a popcorn, please.
Target guy: Would you like to add a soda for one cent?
Me: Um, ok.

So go out and vote for fresh popcorn. It'll distract you from the politicians taking all your money.

Get a Flux Capacitor

2008-08-21T09:08:00.002-04:00

The price is a little steep, but you can easily recover your money by betting on sporting events that already happened. I already have mine b/c future me came back in time to give an extra to present me!

Flux Capacitor Here

What's wrong here?

2008-08-18T07:44:00.002-04:00

So, here's a story about a 16 year-old girl in California who died behind the wheel.

What caused the wreck? Well in addition to the probability that she was trying to send a text message, "authorities say Preuss had been driving drunk and was speeding".

What does her mother have to say? She "hopes the accident will make other people think before texting and driving."

What? No comment about your 16 year-old driving drunk? Don't worry about the underage drinking and driving, just PLEASE think before you text and drive!

I'm going to assume that she also had a comment about the drinking or at least the reporter asked her about it, just that crappy journalism kept it from getting to print.

Say goodbye

2008-08-04T09:37:00.002-04:00

All the pretty billboards on I-85 are going away. And I never got a chance to stop.

I especially like the sign posted out front that you can see in the video:
"The city of Lithonia got stupid and took our license illegally. See you in 5-10 days. We will have a party on the city's money"

I guess they didn't plan on that party being a bonfire.

Eeeepaa! Eeeeepaaa!

2008-07-14T13:16:00.002-04:00

That's why I've narrowed your choices down to five unthinkable options.

Spreading false information

2008-06-13T15:27:00.003-04:00

Clark Howard today stated that bottled water costs more per gallon than gasoline. Clark Howard is smarter than this.

Bottled Water: $5.99/case of 24 half litter bottles. 33.8 oz/liter *24 * .5 = 405.6 ounces

1 Gallon = 4 qts - therefore 32 ounces/qt *4 = 128 ounces.

Gas is $4.00/gallon or .03125.
Water is $5.99 / 405.6 ounces = $.0148 per ounce * 128 ounces = $1.890 per gallon.

Next time someone makes this argument to me, I'm going to slap them for (a) being wrong, and (b) using such a stupid straw-man argument.

6.6 years old

2008-06-05T09:56:00.001-04:00

That's when I used up my fair share of the planet.

How about yourself?

Wait a second...

2008-06-04T22:49:00.001-04:00

There's a Lighthouse Digest? Published monthly?

Is this a trick question?

2008-05-23T10:50:00.002-04:00

She stared at me and said, "What does World War II have to do with NATO, the Cold War and Europe?"

Sigh.

She was as-salt-ed

2008-05-22T09:41:00.001-04:00

I couldn't resist

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,357091,00.html

Not a rant!

2008-05-13T11:44:00.003-04:00

This probably falls under the "crud" part, along with "random".

This place was recently pointed out to me:

http://www.ning.com/

and after the resounding wave of deja vu wore off, I realized that I remembered seeing this someplace before, a long long time ago in an Internet far far away...only back then it was called "Usenet" and social networks were called "Newsgroups".

Slap some javascript, CSS and an API on a webserver and everything old is new again.

Are they serious? Why didn't I think of this?!

2008-05-09T09:48:00.003-04:00

link

Heck, I'll do it for half of what they're charging. Just email me for the address to send your $$$. I'll send you the nicest certificate you've ever seen.

Things that tick me off: Special Vacation edition

2008-05-06T09:56:00.003-04:00

Ok, so I went on a cruise and came up with a whole new list of things that tick me off.

1) Poorly designed lines (TSA, I'm talking to you!): There are efficient and inefficient queueing methods. Merging, seperating and remerging lines is NOT efficient. Further, lines should be clearly marked rather than a general blob.

2) People who can't anticipate. For example the guy who doesn't bother taking his laptop out until they are ready for him to go through the machine. What were you doing for the last 5 minutes?

3) Chair Hogs: These people are the worst. They wake up at 7am and go "reserve" chairs by the pool with the towels, despite numerous signs saying that towels don't reserve chairs and will be picked up if abandoned. Don't ask me at 11:30 where your towel went - either (a) it blew overboard or (b) confiscated by the deck patrol. You lost your towel by being an idiot. It was gone when I got here. Oh, and there's only one of you so you don't need 6 chairs.

4) People who don't understand traffic flow - for example when at a buffet starts where the plates are and work down. Don't go the other way.

5) People who complain when things start on time. It's not my fault you're late. It was supposed to start at 2pm and it's now 2:03. You're late. Deal with it. Oh, and I don't give a crap what your watch says.

6) People who can't follow instructions. If you're in zone 6, you don't need to go stand in front of the door when they call zone 1. Sit down and get out of the way.

7) If you need to have a conversation with someone, might I suggest somewhere besides in front of the staircase or in the middle of the walkway?

This is an outrage

2008-04-08T07:29:00.005-04:00

This time Hugo Chavez has gone too far!

link

[EDIT: I made the URL into a link -RT]

Things that tick me off: Drinks and Restaurants

2008-03-29T01:48:00.003-04:00

Why is it that it has become acceptable for Restaurants to omit the prices of drinks from their menu (talking about Coke, Tea, etc)? It's the only thing on the menu without a price. Well, it's so that they can screw you and charge whatever they want. Seriously, look at menus and see if you can find the price listed.

These places are starting to push $3 on occasion. This crap isn't gasoline! At least fast food joints disclose the prices (and they tend to be the lowest - is this b/c they think it's less work since I refill it myself? When they refill my water, how is it less work?)

I am installing what I believe is a reasonable maximum drink price of $1.99. Seeing as how the product costs about 8 cents, this is enough money for the establishment to make. Don't whine to me about ripping of the wait staff - I'll up the tip when I drink water.

It seems the going rate these days in Atlanta is $2.19. Congratulations, you just priced yourself right out of your biggest profit center. Morons.

As a public service, the following is a list of places that have exceeded my new $1.99 limit. I will not list the establishment if you clearly list the price on your menu as that's fair (stupid on your part, but fair):
- Longhorn's
- Outback
- Applebee's
- Chili's
- Red Lobster

More to be added as I discover them.

Things that tick me off: Sliders

2008-03-01T23:51:00.002-05:00

This one will give you insight into how warped I truly am.

When did every restaurant in the country decide to sell these things? (if you are unaware, they are mini-burgers, like at Krystal and White Castle). I first became aware of these things at Cheeseburger in Paradise about a year ago. Now they are available at such establishments as: Jock's-n-Jill's, Chili's, Ruby Tuesday, TGI Friday's, and Applebees.

If I wanted mini-food, I'd just go to Krystal (no White Castle's around) and be done with it. I find it absurd that people prefer their food in mini form (it's not like they're actually eating less since you get like 4 of them in an order).

I don't have a reason these things tick me off, other than the fact that all these chain places found out about them and added them to their menu at the same time. Like Krystal is new or something.

Also, why's it called a "slider"?

Things that tick me off: Special Driving Edition

2008-03-01T23:43:00.004-05:00

So I've avoiding driving issues, b/c frankly there are so many of them (Cops directing traffic - poorly, counts as a cop issue). I have to do this one because I can't stand it anymore.

There are two things that make me want to rip off someone's arms and beat them upside the head with them.

1) If there are 2 left turn lanes at an intersection and you are in the inside (furtherest left) before the turn, you'd DAMN WELL BETTER STAY on the inside through the turn and not try to get in the right lane on the new road, because that's not your lane. It belongs to the car in the OTHER turn lane. That's usually why the dashes are PAINTED ON THE ROAD.

2) If you try to break in line, usually by using a turn only / exit only lane, I'm under no obligation to let you over, especially if traffic is at a dead stop (possibly caused by a red light). In fact, I will do everything in my power not to let you over, b/c you screwed up (or tried to cheat).

General rule - if you're in a situation (lane, whatever) b/c of your mistake, you should have to deal with it.

I feel better now.