We don't just make the laws...

We're also above them. At least, it would seem a certain Georgia Senator would like to think he is. Apparently a long long time ago, in a General Assembly far, far away, Georgia decided that its lawmakers couldn't be arrested while traveling to or from "official" business, and apparently, "official" business now consists of going out with some buddies after work and packing down some drinks.

At least the Legislature has been embarrased enough by this to try and repeal the clause.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, the people, your esteemed politicians. At least the judge had the common sense to tell Graves he was an idiot (in legal-speak, of course) for trying to get out of not one, but TWO freaking DUIs in two years using some obscure clause written in 1789, which may have had some relevant purpose then, but is useless now, until some politician has the gonads to pretend that the laws which apply to the rest of us don't apply to him. Forget the whole DUI thing, forget the clause, and forget the fact that four glasses of wine is more than half a bottle of a beverage with 12% alcohol. This is the best part:

Graves is chairman of the House committee that oversees regulation of the liquor industry.

Now the question is, is this logical or ironic?

Laws that are meant to be broken

are stupid. But not as stupid as the lawmakers who made them.

...a parks spokesman told the Daily News that the department hoped police would use some common sense when enforcing the rule.

Look, it's already illegal to be a pedophile, a kidnapper, a stalker, a murderer, an indecent exposurer... Just ban all those people from the park. (Did PPASSCCATAG come up with this?)

Woman Ticketed For Sitting On Park Bench Without Kids (A late addition to yesterday's Nuze reading assignments)

Ya know, most traffic violations are committed by people who are driving, so there should be a law against driving. I'm sure the police will use some common sense when enforcing it...

Now searching craigslist for "hounds"...

A "pretty great system" for dealing with tantrums.

This really would work...

Shh! You want to get sued?

A post-production house organized a competition where assistant editors ‘re-cut’ trailers for famous movies to try and make them seem like different movies . . . . this is the one that won:

Shining

Feature: Things THEY don't want you to know.

Enough is enough. I can no longer sit around while THEY infiltrate every aspect of our lives, manipulating and controlling everything from world markets to individual thoughts. So we (that's the royal "we") will fight the good fight, work tirelessly until we get sleepy, and never pause, except for a beer or two or six, to expose THEM and their agenda until the world wakes up to the truth. As one of the greatest freedom fighters in history once said, " I won't give up, I can't give up, not as long as the truth is out there."

This will be a weekly-or-semi-weekly feature, on Thursdays if I remember. Why Thursday? Because that's when THEY least expect it, see. Plus, my cat told me it was a good idea.

This weeks truth is about self-protection from THIER electromagnetic psychotronic mind control carriers, and was sent to me via quantum-encrypted high-speed pigeon network from a trusted, confidential, super-top-secret source known only as "FDM". So without further ado, I give you:

The AFDB.

An Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie (AFDB) is a type of headwear that can shield your brain from most electromagnetic psychotronic mind control carriers. AFDBs are inexpensive (even free if you don't mind scrounging for thrown-out aluminium foil) and can be constructed by anyone with at least the dexterity of a chimp (maybe bonobo). This cheap and unobtrusive form of mind control protection offers real security to the masses. Not only do they protect against incoming signals, but they also block most forms of brain scanning and mind reading, keeping the secrets in your head truly secret. AFDBs are safe and operate automatically. All you do is make it and wear it and you're good to go! Plus, AFDBs are stylish and comfortable.

So go now friends, and protect yourselves. Instructions are available at the website.

Unions are dumb, but we already knew that

Flight Attendants Call for 'Flightplan' Boycott

"Should there be another 9/11, it would be critical for the cabin crew to have the support of their passengers, not the distrust that this movie may engender," said Tommie Hutto-Blake, president of the Association of Professional Flight Attendants.

Would people really distrust another group of people solely due to their portrayal in a movie? Then again, the union minded probably would believe everything they see from Hollywood.

I recommend...

I'm gonna add a few more links to the sidebar... stuff that I read occasionally or more often. If you've got some you'd like me to add send me an email or put them in a comment below.

For now, a post on the antiwar protests from James Lileks. Almost all of his stuff is really good, this is just the latest. If I could write as well as he does I'd do a lot more writing.

The Communist Party, a group that manages to keep a straight face when it calls for peace and freedom, was on hand, no doubt glaring at the Socialist Party: we will deal with those splitters later.

What a whiner!

This guy needs to learn to suck it up and get his ego out of the way. He'd never cut it at GT.

http://www.techcentralstation.com/092105B.html

Quitter boy. Now children go to state college. Serious students powerless against druken jockocrocy. Baseball hats everywhere.

Stupid Aliens

You know what really bugged me about Signs? If you're an alien race advanced enough to master interstellar travel, why would you land on a planet that is 3/4 covered by a substance you know will kill you?

That reminds me of...

The Tard-blog.

And this one...

'Tard of the Day

Judge Tosses Lawmaker's Immunity Claim

And his lawyer's name is Bubba Head.

Intelligent Design?

Here is a reprint of an especially funny bit from yesterday's "Best of the Web". (You do read it every day... don't you?):

Waddle They Think of Next?
So we went to see "March of the Penguins" over the weekend, and we found it a delightful opus. Like most Hollywood fare, "March" tells a story about peculiar mating rituals. What makes it unusual is that it is about penguins rather than human beings.

Apparently there's a debate going on about the political subtext of the movie. We haven't really been following it, and we didn't find it especially political, but we guess--spoiler alert!--it's probably about whether the movie advocates feminism (because male penguins brood the eggs while the females are off fishing) or family values (because penguins are monogamous, albeit only for a year at a time).

It strikes us, though, that if there's a message here it is in favor of natural selection and against "intelligent design." Penguins' means of living and reproducing involves repeated, sexually segregated 70-mile treks through unimaginably bitter cold to get food. Those monogamous penguin couples hardly get to see each other, and when they are together, they spend much of their time trying to transfer the egg from female to male, a clumsy maneuver that can easily yield a frozen embryo. Whichever parent is tending to the chick at any given time is starving to death while the other one is off at sea.

Granted, it all seems to work somehow--but if this is intelligent design, the designer is Rube Goldberg.

Meanwhile, Lloyd Grove of the New York Daily News reports on another forthcoming documentary, "Inside the Bubble," which is about John Kerry's 2004 campaign:

People who've screened the documentary say it's compelling and revealing. It features, among other not-ready-for-prime-time moments, [Hillary] Clinton scowling and rolling her eyes over an apparent Kerry gaffe during a presidential debate; Kerry pretending to interview himself and babbling in Italian while waiting for a real interview to begin; Sen. Joe Biden (D-Del.) cursing at reporters during a campaign stop, and Kerry message guru Robert Shrum confidently declaring a few days before the 2004 election: "Zogby [a prominent pollster] just announced who's gonna win. Us!" . . .

A press release claims the movie--which won't be shown publicly until Thursday--"turns a harsh but deeply revealing mirror on the campaign . . . a disorganized, contentious, self-absorbed team that thought they could win by 'not making mistakes,' and keeping their candidate in the public eye without clarifying a position on anything."

It doesn't sound as though the Kerry campaign provides much evidence of intelligent design either.

Well, duh.

What we've always known...

Best quote taken out of context:

"...and for anyone unfortunate enough
to march near brass instruments."

Also,

"But the worst place in the stands is right in front of the piccolos."

A-men.