Feature: Things THEY don't want you to know.

Enough is enough. I can no longer sit around while THEY infiltrate every aspect of our lives, manipulating and controlling everything from world markets to individual thoughts. So we (that's the royal "we") will fight the good fight, work tirelessly until we get sleepy, and never pause, except for a beer or two or six, to expose THEM and their agenda until the world wakes up to the truth. As one of the greatest freedom fighters in history once said, " I won't give up, I can't give up, not as long as the truth is out there."

This will be a weekly-or-semi-weekly feature, on Thursdays if I remember. Why Thursday? Because that's when THEY least expect it, see. Plus, my cat told me it was a good idea.

This weeks truth is about self-protection from THIER electromagnetic psychotronic mind control carriers, and was sent to me via quantum-encrypted high-speed pigeon network from a trusted, confidential, super-top-secret source known only as "FDM". So without further ado, I give you:

The AFDB.

An Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie (AFDB) is a type of headwear that can shield your brain from most electromagnetic psychotronic mind control carriers. AFDBs are inexpensive (even free if you don't mind scrounging for thrown-out aluminium foil) and can be constructed by anyone with at least the dexterity of a chimp (maybe bonobo). This cheap and unobtrusive form of mind control protection offers real security to the masses. Not only do they protect against incoming signals, but they also block most forms of brain scanning and mind reading, keeping the secrets in your head truly secret. AFDBs are safe and operate automatically. All you do is make it and wear it and you're good to go! Plus, AFDBs are stylish and comfortable.

So go now friends, and protect yourselves. Instructions are available at the website.